Taking a break from SH

A hypothetical scenario:

“I know what you’re up to!” Your wife has a way of putting her say across. In a split second you mentally scan the long list of all the possible things that can get you into trouble.

Although you are scared shitless, you keep reading the newspaper a while longer and then ask, “What do you mean?”

“You again forgot to bring the eye shadow I told you to. You want me to look ghastly at the party tonight.”

Relieved, you say something like, “No, I have brought it. Won’t give it to you, I’ll put it on myself so we both look ghastly tonight.” And you go back to reading about how Indore is being run by gangs of goondas.

Another hypothetical scenario:

You ask your girlfriend, “Would you like to go out to <place> this evening?” It is a Sunday and she eagerly asks, “Who else is going?” She probably means if your mutual (or not so mutual) friends might be accompanying you. Or she just wants to make sure it would be just the two of you on that longish drive. So you say, “Oh, it’s just my daughter and my wife.” BAM!

You shouldn’t be surprised that the next words she says are, “No, I’m going to this fun place, a temple, with my cousins and stuff. So maybe next time.”

Yet another one:

This blog is being read in Germany. The reader (for convenience I’ll refer to him as “he” or “him” hereafter, which will include the reader’s assignees, beneficiaries, next of kin, representatives, friends, Romans and countrymenpeople) laughs lightly. As lightly as you just did when you read the text in the parenthesis in the last sentence. His friend asks, “Was liest du?” To which the reader replies “Ein Blog von einem dummen Kerl.”

The friend persists, “Worüber hat er geschrieben?” He says, “Nichts, wovon er weiß.” They both burst out laughing. Hard.

Epilogue:

You might wonder what’s the point of these three hypothetical scenarios. What’s the underlying theme here? The answer is rather complicated. There is no point, there’s no underlying theme. See, I said it is complicated.

Disclaimer:

Google Translate was liberally used in this blog post, as you can certainly tell.